DO'S AND DON’TS

Don’t act under pressure

Certain situations can cause parents to try and speed up the process. Perhaps the kid is about to start kindergarten. Parents need to identify the pressure they’re under and avoid transferring it to the child. It can’t contribute anything to the actual process. Don’t start conflicts with the child Even when obstacles crop up in the process, it’s vital to avoid conflict with the child.

Don’t show anger

Even if the child has seven “accidents” consecutively, on the new couch, and every carpet in the house, anger is harmful and just overshadows the process.

Don’t humiliate the child, directly or indirectly

Some comments are unhelpful. For example, “Only little kids pee in their underpants.” Or, “Younger kids than you are out of diapers already.”

Don’t fall into the “broken record” trap

The same phrases, repeated over and over (“The toilet is the only place to pee and poo;” “When you need to go next time, just tell me,”) don’t teach the kid something new. He knows it all already. All they do is reflect the same expectations, coupled with disappointment. It’s exhausting for the parents, offends the child, and contributes nothing to the toilet training process.

Don’t use rewards too much

Rewards and reinforcements can have a positive effect if the process is going well, and the child is cooperative. But when obstacles occur, if the kid no longer reacts to rewards and reinforcements, you need to stop and think what the obstacle is. Repeated attempts to offer bigger, more tempting gifts simply put pressure on the child and don’t enhance the process.

Don’t bang your head against the wall

When we see that the child isn’t responding to what we do or say, we must avoid repeating them with greater impetus. We need to stop saying and doing them. Stop, and try to identify the obstacle.

Don’t make demands of the child

Parents need to remember that it’s the child’s process. He doesn’t owe anything to his parents even if he’s already shown he can control. Parents must guide, encourage, and support, but on no account should they make demands of the child in anything related to hygiene habits.