The Musical that has Toilet Trained 1000s of Children!
Dr. Baruch Kushnir
Parent’s approach to the toilet training process affects the developing personality and self-confidence of the child.
We are here to help with useful, information, tips and products that will make toilet training fun.
How to begin?
The child readyness
Remember – toilet training is a transition from one habit to another. This is not an easy task for adults and especially for children and it is an important milestone in shaping the child's personality.
Tips for successful toilet training
Toilet training is an important factor in shaping your child’s self-image and self-confidence!
Toilet training occurs at a critical time for shaping the child’s personality. Toilet training that managed with the right approach and at the right timing will contribute to the formation of the child’s independence and self-confidence. Therefore, one should act sensitively and patiently throughout the process and accept with love and understanding faults, missteps and setbacks. Events of this kind can create reactions of anger and disappointment. The role of parents is to detect these feelings and curb them. Parents who express anger and frustration create feelings of failure and disappointment in the child, damage his self-image, and in any case disrupt the toilet training process.
There is not just one right way to toilet train.
Almost all children in the world acquire bowel and bladder control day and night at the age of one to three. Almost every child becomes toilet trained eventually. There is no one right way to toilet train. Children grow up in different families and in different cultures and are toilet trained in different ways. Sometimes even twin brothers who grow up in the same family are toilet trained in different ways. An approach that is not appropriate for one child may be appropriate for another child. The challenge is to adapt for each child the approach suitable him
Toilet training is a process of changing habits.
Toilet training is a process in which the child moves from a situation where he had the legitimacy to defecate and urinate anytime and anywhere, to a situation where he is required to control these actions and perform them at the appropriate time and place. At any age, even in adults, the transition from one leg to another is not an easy task. For example: changes in eating habits, smoking cessation, cessation of nail biting, etc.
For some children, toilet training is a natural and easy process, while some children need more guidance, support and sensitivity to go through this process successfully. It is advisable to start the process as early as possible by exposing the child to the books and videos related to toilet training. It is recommended to start removing the diaper only when there are clear signs of readiness in the child, such as expressing a desire to defecate in the toilet, announcing that he has defecated and requesting a diaper change, attempting to climb and sit on the toilet bowl, etc..
When do you say goodbye to the diaper? At the end or at the beginning of toilet training?
The real test of the toilet training process is not the speed in which the child departs from the diaper and switches to using the toilet. The real test here is the ‘how’ of the process. Did you help the child go through the process smoothly, harmoniously, without confrontations and without experiences of anger and criticism. Did you provide him with the right conditions, a comfortable, supporting atmosphere and encouraging responses that contributed to strengthening his confidence and self-image?
Many parents begin to toilet train by removing the diaper and expect the child to internalize the message and start using the toilet. This step may be successful when the child cooperates immediately and fully. However, when there is no such cooperation, the parents have to take a few steps back in the process. Always remember: the child is more important than the toilet training process!!
Proceed at the child’s pace and style – but what does that actually mean?
When the toilet training process is not progressing according to expectations, the parents have to adapt to the pace and style of the child. For example, the child should be allowed to return to using the diaper when he or she requests it or when he or she returns to defecate in clothing even after several days of full use of the toilet. Similarly, when the child is functioning properly in kindergarten and not at home (or vice versa), or when he is cooperating with one parent and less with another parent, conflicts should be avoided and the desired behavior reinforced. In any case, care must be taken to act in complete harmony with the child.
Parents must be creative and sophisticated: do not be angry, do not coax, do not bribe and do not force on the child expectations and desires. Everything must be done so that the toilet training process does not become a source of frustrating power struggles and conflicts.
When the child initiates departure from diapers.
Like other developmental processes, such as walking, talking, etc., in some children, the departure from diapers occurs on its own. The child feels the need to separate from the diaper and naturally recognizes his ability to switch to using the toilet. He performs the necessary actions himself or seeks the help of his parents. This process can occur at different ages, depending on the child’s development and maturity.
Sometimes, the process of parting from the diaper takes place in stages. In such cases, it is worth praising the child for the gradual steps he has taken in the process. In contrast, in cases where the child does not initiate anything, it is advisable to wait as patiently as possible, expose the child to books and videos on the subject and allow him to reach this developmental stage on his own before taking any parental initiative..
When parents initiate the toilet training process.
The most common parenting initiative is one-day diaper removal. When the child responds, cooperates and progresses towards a complete separation from the diaper, this must be maintained. But if the child does not cooperate and opposes it, the diaper should be used again and wait for another
While waiting, it is recommended to watch the child and identify the barriers he faces in the process of parting from the diaper. For example, does the child manage to identify the bodily sensation that he needs to evacuate? Is he afraid of the size of the toilet or its depth? Efforts should be made to build an action plan based on these understandings, and to act on it in order to restart the process. If you want to initiate a toilet training process, but are not sure how to do it, you may want to seek professional help..
Prepare a clear and formulated action plan in advance.
Such a program should begin by identifying the child’s degree of readiness in various areas (physical, physiological, perceptual, emotional, etc.) and the obstacles expected along the way. On the basis of these, procedures and a suitable date for the implementation of the plan must be determined. It is advisable to avoid starting the process during changes such as moving to a new kindergarten, moving house, giving birth to a new sibling, starting a new job, etc.
In the absence of a plan, parents may tackle different, unexpected developments and obstacles, to lose control and to resort to undesirable responses of anger and frustration that may hurt the child and interfere with the toilet training process.
Night toilet training
Most children stop wetting at night naturally, without their parents’ intervention. It is a self-occurring physiological process, and is part of the maturation of the reflex system that controls the bladder.
To speed up the natural process of stopping wetting while sleeping, the diaper should be removed for three weeks, allow the child to drink freely in the evening and be encouraged to urinate before bed. Do not put pressure on the child to be dry, and avoid waking him up during the night.
If the number of dry nights increases gradually, the child is in a natural process of becoming dry, and he approaches a state of complete bladder control at night. On the other hand, if the child continues to wet without any change during these weeks, one should return to using the diaper, and retry the procedure at a later stage, or seek professional help.
When do you seek professional help?
A. When you feel the need to initiate toilet training process, but you are not sure how;
B. In many cases, parents are surrounded by different people in their environment – a teacher, counselor, breastfeeding nurse, relatives, etc., each of whom has a different view of the toilet training process depending on their life experience. For example, when a withdrawal occurs in the process and the child returns to pee and poop in his clothes, some recommend reusing the diaper, and some argue that the use of diapers diaper should never be resumed. In such situations, it is recommended to decide on a uniform course of action that is appropriate for the parents or to seek professional advice and follow its guidelines.
C. If you are confronting your child in the toilet training process and feel that you have reached a dead end or you are debating which way to choose, it is advisable to contact a professional who specializes in the subject.
D. When the child develops persistent constipation for several days or shows a sharp decrease in appetite, it is recommended to consult a pediatrician.
E. When your child has reached an age where most other children are fully toilet trained.